Tell me what is bothering you
by FirstLovexx
Summary: He never did anything right, everything he did was wrong. One day he could not take it anymore and made the dumbest decision ever. During the quest, Kili's secrets slowly reveal themselves. Rated T to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey!**

**This is my first ever fanfic. English is not my mother language so please forgive me when I make mistakes.**

**I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

"Kili, at your service." The young dwarf bowed to the hobbit and smiled. "You must be mister Boggings."

"Baggins, but indeed, I am." While correcting the dwarf, Bilbo moved to close the door, but was stopped by Kili.

"May I come in?" Without waiting for an answer, Kili stepped into the Hobbit-hole.

"Kili!" Balin walked towards the dwarfling and welcomed him with a tight hug. "I'm so glad you've come." He said with a smile.

His appearance unnerved Bilbo, even though he didn't know him. At this moment the bell rang again.

Bilbo got annoyed by this and started complaining about the dwarves in his house while he walked to the door. As he opened it, eight dwarves and a wizard were standing there, all wearing a unique smile. They came in and introduced themselves. The three brothers, Ori, Dori and Nori, whispered at each other.

"Do you think he has come?"

"I don't know, brother, I don't know."

"I've heard Thorin lashed out at him again."

"We will see."

When the brothers entered the dining room, their faces lit up by seeing someone sitting in the corner of the room. "Kili!"

The dwarf stepped forward and the three brothers gasped. A dark bruise covered half of Kili's face and it clearly hurt. No one decided to react to it as the dwarf smiled. "So, supper?" The rest of the dwarves and Gandalf laughed at his 'question'.

Supper was over quickly and with a song, the dwarves cleaned up. Throwing plates, rolling bowls and bouncing forks and spoons. Once everything was on its place, they heard two knocks on the door. Everyone was quiet immediately and looked towards the door.

"They are here." Gandalf said.

Kili sighed. Only two dwarves were missing and he knew exactly who they were.

-:-

"Gandalf." One of the dwarves standing at the door spoke up. "I thought you said this place would be easy to find. We've lost our way, twice. Wouldn't have found it at all if it weren't for that mark on the door."

"Mark?" Bilbo asked confused. "There is no mark on that door it was painted a week ago!"

"There is a mark, I put it there myself." Gandalf explained. "Bilbo Baggins, may I introduce you to the leader of our company, Thorin Oakenshield and his nephew and heir, Fili." The company of dwarves bowed to Thorin and Fili, except for one dwarf, Kili. _Let's hope they don't expect me to bow. _Thorin shot him a warning look. Kili rolled his eyes and bowed. _Jerk. _

"Heir you say?" Bilbo seemed to be uncomfortable with the silence and broke it as soon as he could. "Does that mean you're a king?"

"King in exile, but yes." Thorin corrected.

"And Fili will be king after you?"

"Indeed." Fili smiled, full with pride. Kili rolled his eyes.

"Do all dwarf names rhyme?"

"Excuse me?" The king-in-exile was confused.

"Do all dwarf names rhyme?" Bilbo repeated.

Kili understood why he asked and he did not blame him.

"No, lad." Dwalin joined the conversation, also knowing why Bilbo wondered. "Only close family, like siblings."

Both Fili and Kili let out a loud grunt and Kili walked away, towards the dining room. Not much later the rest of the dwarves followed.

The explaining was too long for Kili's matter. They talked about the quest, about Smaug, they even let the poor hobbit faint!

Kili looked up when he heard his name. "What?" he growled.

Thorin gave him the same warning as he did before. "I do not accept your behavior Kili."

"You never did." Kili spat. Thorin stood up and wanted to lash out again, but was interrupted.

"Come on lads, stay polite, we're guests remember?" Balin interrupted. "Fight it out later."

"Fight out what?" Bilbo asked reviving from his faint.

He regretted his question when no dwarf answered. They had found out the exchange of gases between Thorin and Kili, everyone saw the anger and hatred. Kili quickly turned away as Thorin gave him a menacing look which Kili knew best, thinking of the massive, dark bruise covering half of his face. He did not want that to happen again.

-:-

"We are with you laddie." Thorin was relieved by Balin's reaction. He did not expect him to come on this quest. He is no warrior. The rest was close to one and were at good age. The youngest of all, Kili, has even come. _He better prove himself. _

It seemed like Balin could read his thoughts. "You should be happy Kili has come lad, you'll need him more than you think. I doubted he would come, after what happened between you and him."

Thorin sighed. _He started._

* * *

**So that was the first chapter.**

**I hope you liked it and please share your opinions in a review, I would appreciate it!**


	2. Chapter 2

"Do you think he'll come?" The young –but not the youngest- dwarf wondered.

Bofur shook his head. "I highly doubt that."

"Don't judge too quickly, we were already surprised by a certain dwarf." Dwalin pointed out and nodded at Kili, who rode in the back.

He looked up. "I think he will come soon."

"What makes you think that?" Fili spat, clearly not amused by his brother's hope. "He is a Halfling, slow and careful. This quest is not for people like him."

Kili sighed. "I wager he will come. Three silver coins."

"I will take that bet."

Soon enough all dwarves had guessed and Kili was certain of his statement. Although only three other dwarves and the wizard agreed with him.

"Wait!"

-:-

It was nightfall. The dwarves went to sleep in their bedrolls and Balin took first watch. He put more wood in the fire to keep it burning. Bilbo was not able to get some sleep and sat next to Balin. They were both quiet for a long time. Bilbo decided to get whatever he was worrying about off his chest.

"Balin, can you tell me what happened between Thorin and Kili? Only if you want to of course."

Balin looked up from the fire and frowned. "I am afraid that is not my tale to tell, lad."

"Okay." They both stared at the fire and created an awkward silence between the two of them. Then Balin looked up. "Although I am afraid they will not talk about it." He sighed. "Alright, I will tell you."

"When we still lived in Erebor, Thorin not only had one brother, he had two. Frerin was his younger brother, always looked up to him and admired him. But his other younger brother, Floran, did not like him at all. They would always get into fights. In the battle of Azanulbizar the hatred between the two increased. You see, Frerin and Floran were fighting back to back and Floran knew Frerin was losing the fight. But he spotted a dwarven woman fighting orcs and he went to her to send her off the battlefield, leaving Frerin alone with the orcs from which he was losing." Balin shook his head. "Floran could have saved him, but instead he went to the lass who was doing perfectly fine."

"I-I still do not quite understand what this has to do with Kili."

"Kili looks so much like Floran did back in those days. Each time Thorin looked at him, he saw Floran and he lost it."

Bilbo frowned. "Lost it? Do you mean-?" Bilbo could not even finish his sentence.

"I am afraid I do."

-:-

**2 days later, right after the troll incident. (Which happened with Kili and Ori, not Kili and Fili.) **Thorin had been quiet since the troll accident. It unnerved Kili. Thorin's behavior was new to him. He would have lashed out at him already, or he would at least said he was wrong, but Thorin had not spoken a word to Kili.

The company sat around the fire, talking and singing songs. The mood of everyone was great, at least, they thought. Bombur picked up a bowl of stew and walked over to Kili.

"No food for him." Thorin growled.

Bombur looked sad. The company looked at Thorin in disbelief and at Kili in sorrow. Kili barely showed emotion. "Alright. Didn't expect anything less." He leaned against the tree trunk and sighed.

Ori felt pity for his friend. "I can give you some of mine." He offered. "He'll barely notice."

Kili shook his head. "No, thanks. If this is what he wants, so be it." With those words he stood up and walked to the first place filled with darkness he could find and began to cry.

-:-

_SMACK!_

_Three. He forced himself to stand up._

_HIT!_

_Four. His cheek began to hurt._

**_SMASH!_**

_Full power, flat-handed, right on his cheek. He gave up. Helpless he laid on the ground. All his energy had disappeared and all he could do was wait for someone to come. Thorin turned around and left the room._

I can't do this anymore!_ Kili's cheek burned like hell and he wanted to run away. _

_Which he did._

_He grabbed his bow and quiver and climbed out of the window, into the wild._

-:-

_"__Kili! Kili where are you!" Balin ran through the narrow streets, shouting. "Kili!"_

_He knew._

_He knew everything._

_He knew from the first time._

_And he hated it._

_As Kili grew up, it happened more often. Most of the time without a reason. He had to hold back a tear as he thought of the idea. The lad was still so young. However, he could not let Thorin know. They were friends, yes, but Thorin was also his king. Anything could happen and he would not take the risk. But then again, Kili was so young, and he lived a life of sorrow._

_What Balin could do to help, he did not know, but he would get some sense in the mind of that dumb king. _

-:-

_He didn't know where to go. Kili went straight on from the gates and followed the path. He had to turn somewhere, for he knew the path he was followed would eventually lead him to the Iron Hills. He decided to turn left._

_That might have been his worst mistake._

_Not thirty minutes later his keen ears caught a warg growling. He panicked. He turned to the direction of which he heard the warg and wargs with orc riders came sprinting down the hill. Kili drew his sword. _

_The first warg made his way over to Kili, gritting its teeth. Kili swung his sword at his head and the warg was dead. The second warg did the same. This time, Kili was too late and had to hurry to dodge the attack._

_This went on for about an hour when –he thought- the last warg prepared to attack. _

_But it stopped. _

_The warg squeaked and crouched backwards, looking terrified. Kili was confused. Before he could turn around something hit his head hard and he fell down._

_His world faded into darkness._

-:-

_Thorin was lost in his own thoughts. Not of concern for his nephew, but of worry of what his people could think. They would find out and Thorin would lose his throne. He had to do something. He was so distracted he did not hear Balin catching up with him. _

_He jumped at his voice. "Have you heard anything about Kili?" _

_Thorin shook his head, trying not to show his face. "No."_

_Balin stopped Thorin from walking and whispered in his ear._

_"__You do miss him right?"_

_"__Yes." _

_"__And you will do anything to find him?"_

_There was no reply._

-:-

_Kili awoke with a headache. Groaning softly, he opened his eyes and gasped. One of his greatest nightmares had come true._

_He could not believe his eyes. A shiver of fear ran down his spine. _How will I get out alive?

* * *

**Well, that was chapter 2. I hope you liked it.**

**Basically, everytime Kili goes to sleep, he suffers from nightmares. I decided to write some of them so you know what he might be dreading. **

**Also I am quite unexperienced when it comes to battles, so Kili basically kills all the wargs except for one of them. **

**Thank you SO much for all your reviews, you made me very happy with all your reactions. I am glad a lot of you liked the first chapter.**

**Please review, the next chapter will be uploaded as soon as possible.**


	3. Chapter 3

(Previous chapter)

_Kili awoke with a headache. Groaning softly, he opened his eyes and gasped. One of his greatest nightmares had come true._

_He could not believe his eyes. A shiver of fear ran down his spine. _How will I get out alive?

-:-

(Now)

Kili woke up with a gasp. He looked around and sighed. He was safe now, it wouldn't happen again. His stomach churned as he walked back to the company. He hadn't eaten anything since the night before they found out about the trolls. He sniffed the air and cheered up. Bombur was cooking. He quickened his pace and now sprinted to the campfire.

"Good morning." Bofur said with a smile.

"Hi." It was the only response Kili could give. His good mood faded at the sight of his uncle. A little voice in his head whispered at him. _It was all his fault. _It said. _Because of him you left. It was all his fault. _Kili shook off the voice and walked to Ori.

"Hey Kili, how are you?" He asked.

Kili shrugged. "Fine I guess. This whole quest is kind of a blur to me. Like I've done it before."

"What do you mean? Have you been here before then?"

"I don't remember."

They spent about 3 minutes in an awkward silence. The rest of the day they rode next to each other, not saying anything to anyone.

-:-

"Ori, Kili, wake up! Quickly!" Gloin's voice rose above the snapping twigs and growling wargs. It took a while for Kili to focus on his surroundings, but when he did, he quickly got on his feet and grasped his sword.

They were under attack.

After fighting for a while, the company found out they were outnumbered and were fleeing in order to survive. They found themselves in an open field with at some places huge rocks. 'The Great East Road' Gandalf called it.

Kili shot an arrow at an orc and it ended up right in between his eyes. He smiled satisfied. After shooting another arrow –which had hit a warg in the place where he aimed- Kili noticed Gandalf was missing. He wanted to run off to look for him, only being stopped by a familiar voice speaking in a familiar language.

The leader of the orcs, Yazneg, stepped forward and pointed at Kili with a sinister smile.

"_Snaga_."

Kili's eyes widened at those words. He froze and stared at the orc. He had not noticed the company sliding into a hidden entrance, and he had not noticed a warg sneaking up at him from behind either.

When Kili turned around he finally got sight of the warg and of his company not being there. He ignored the orc threatening him in Black Speech and ran towards the Hidden Entrance, only to find twelve dwarves, a Halfling and a wizard waiting for him.

Kili saw Gandalf and Thorin arguing. He could pick up some words.

_Have to continue…. Your nephew…. A burden…._

It didn't take long for Kili to understand they were arguing about him. _A burden? _

Gandalf turned around and smiled. "He's here!"

Thorin sighed and turned to the opening of the rocks. "Those orcs are still out there."

Not long after he finished his sentence, they heard a horn. An orc fell down the entrance, dead. The company was confused. They didn't see any sword moves and didn't hear any bows.

With his keen eyesight, Kili spotted an arrow, deep in the orc's abdomen. He pulled it out and looked at the tip. "Elves."

Dwalin was investigating a small path in a valley. "I cannot see where the pathway leads. Do we follow it or no' ?"

Bofur nodded heavily. "Follow it of course!"

While following the path, Ori ran towards Kili.

"You okay?" Kili nodded.

"What took you so long?"

Kili shrugged. "I was fighting and didn't notice you were gone."

"How did you know we were here?" Nori entered the conversation –which looked more like an interrogation-.

"I didn't. I just decided to slide into the entrance and follow the path, but then I found you."

"And how did you know about the path?"

Nori's question had not been answered. The company had stopped and stared at a beautiful sight.

In the valley there was a city. It was big with many buildings in different shapes, surrounded by moss and all sorts of green. The sunlight that fell upon the city made everything shine like magic.

"The valley of Imladris." Gandalf said, after regarding the beauty of the city now standing in front of them. "In the Common Tongue it is known by another name.

With all the members losing their voice, Bilbo managed to gasp out the name. "Rivendell."

* * *

**Chapter 3 people!**

**I hurried to finish this because coming three days I will not have any time to write, I will upload the next chapter as soon as possible.**

**Please review and let me know what you think.**


	4. Chapter 4

The hospitality of the Elves surprised the Dwarves. They had given the dwarves rooms to sleep and had set up a meal.

"Try it, Ori." Dori started. "Just a mouthful."

Ori shook his head. "I don't like green food."

Dwalin seemed to agree, as he threw his greens on his plate. "Where's the meat?" He growled.

Searching the table, Ori asked. "Have they got any chips?"

-:-

The rooms given to the dwarves were slightly smaller than the other rooms. They only had bright colors like white, crème or any color close to it. The beds had five pillows on them and the sheets had the same patterns as those pillows. On the walls hung paintings of horses, trees and rivers. It was a peaceful room. Too peaceful for the dwarves.

Although, there was one dwarf that liked the peace.

Ori opened the door to his room and smiled. He went over to his bed. He fell down on it and immediately bounced back up. It had been a long time since he had felt such peace. It reminded him of home.

He had no idea how long he had laid on his bed, but the daylight that entered the room through the large window had already started to fade.

-:-

_Knock Knock. _"Come in!"

Bilbo slowly opened the door. "Uhm, Balin?"

"Bilbo, lad, come in come in! Do you want some tea?" Balin asked with a big smile on his face.

"Actually, I wanted to ask you something."

Balin frowned and sat down on his bed. "What do you want to ask?"

Bilbo hesitated. He had been wondering about it since Balin told him the story of Thorin and Floran, but he did not dare to ask him that night. "W-what about Fili and Kili? Why is there such a distance between them?"

Balin sighed. _Why does he come to me for this? _"That is not quite a story, but alright." Bilbo took a seat on a big chair in the corner of the room. "Fili and Kili used to be very close. You see, the first time Thorin had hit Kili, Kili was very shocked. He ran to my house and started crying. Then he told me what happened. After that first time, Kili blocked everyone out; friends, family, literally everyone. He ignored Fili and Fili did not like that. He went to Thorin to ask him what was going on, but Thorin did not respond. Thorin convinced him to also ignore Kili and that is when they started to fall apart. This only got worse the last couple of years and now, here we are."

Just like some nights before, when Balin told the story of Thorin and Floran, the two sat in silence while Bilbo was trying to put everything straight.

-:-

_Kili was led, wearing nothing but his thin shirt, trousers and boots, in an arena. It was a round cage, the top of which escaped his sight, made from a very strong black metal, that could not be broken by any force. He was pushed through a huge entrance, on each side an orc watching him closely._

_He should have been strong, he should have been brave. But no, Kili was terrified._

_An arena meant a battle. A battle meant fighting. Fighting meant losing and winning. Kili would be losing, he was sure. But who was winning?_

_That was when he saw the cage in the middle of the arena. The cage was held firmly closed by heavy metal bars. That did not terrify Kili, it was what was inside, that scared him. _

_A creature, roughly the size of two men, of which it's roaring deafened the elder. It was surrounded by fire and smoke and his whip looked like it was only fire. Balin's description of the creature that had killed Durin VI. A balrog._

-:-

"What is it my lord?" A dark-haired elf asked. "A nightmare?"

Elrond examined Kili thoroughly and shook his head. "It doesn't seem like it. The shaking came out of nowhere. According to his companions he was fine yesterday."

"Does this look fine to you?"

He pointed at the dwarf laying in the bed. He was shaking and sweat covered his whole body. Although, it was no fever. His temperature was completely normal. His eyes were closed and he seemed to struggle, against what was unknown to both elves.

"He'll wake. I will see it done." With that lord Elrond left the room.

-:-

Lord Elrond's pace quickened when he saw the House of Healing. He was in a hurry and did not care about anyone who would stand in his way at this moment. "Out of my way! Out of my way!" He yelled. He was almost there. "Ah, Lindir, good to see you here."

Lindir looked up and bowed his head. "With what can I help you, my lord?"

Elrond frowned. "One of the dwarves has been having seizures, do you have something for him?"

Lindir immediately turned around and ran into the House of Healing. He yelled something in Sindarin and one of the elves opened a cupboard and fetched a bottle with potion from it. Lindir took it from him and returned to lord Elrond, who had finally caught up with him. "This should work for him. One sip and he will relax, if it is what I think it is."

"And what is it then?"

"Nightmares, excitement, fear and anger all mixed up in one body."

"Thank you Lindir, I will see you this afternoon."

-:-

When Elrond entered Kili's room he was still in the same state, if not worsened. He quickly took place next to his bed and tried to make the potion enter his body. Eventually it worked, but the dwarf did not relax. No, he started screaming.

-:-

_"__You better shut up right now or I will throw this down your throat!" A disgusting orc swang a bottle of green liquid in front of Kili's face. He continued screaming and left the orc no other choice. The horrifying creature forced his mouth open and threw the liquid in his mouth. He firmly held Kili's jawbone to make sure he swallowed it._

_It was disgusting. Kili had never tasted it before, it almost seemed like poison. But he also was not sure what it was, so he could have been right. _Poison. _The word itself made him shiver. He had to get out._

* * *

**Aaaaaand I'm back home! Yay!**

**In case you were wondering, Kili reacts to his nightmare like this because this one had been pursuing him for years. He started shaking because of the emotions he had when it happened.**

**I just wanted to say that I have to go to school again tomorrow, so I cannot promise anything, but I will try to have a new chapter on wednesday.**

**Byee**


	5. Chapter 5

Lord Elrond did not know what to think. Sure, he and Kili had met before, but things felt awkward with the other dwarves. Elrond knew many dwarves and never had any problems with them, but Thorin Oakenshield's company seemed… odd. They were as merry as the dwarves he knew, yet something was off. He could not quite place it.

The day Smaug came to Erebor, King Thranduil, the elven king of the Woodland Realm, turned his back to the dwarves. He gave elves a bad reputation. He thought the odd behavior of the dwarves could partly be because of that day.

Lord Elrond entered the halls where the rest of the company had settled with a frown on his face. The dwarves all knew of Kili's sudden condition and of course Thorin had some complains leaving his mind. When Elrond got into sight all dwarves looked up hoping for an answer. Balin was the first to ask. "Do you know more about Kili?"

The frown hadn't left Elrond's face, it had only deepened when he answered. "His condition is one I have never seen before. At this moment I am not capable of determining the cause and am therefore also no able to cure him. Has any of you seen anything different about him?" Elrond glanced at Balin. "You said it came out of nowhere, are you sure you haven't missed any signs?"

Bofur stepped forward and asked "Is there absolutely nothing you can do?"

"Unfortunately not. We will have to wait until he wakes, maybe he can explain us."

-:-

He slowly opened his eyes, but immediately closed them because of the sunlight that blinded him. When he opened them again, he saw two elves sitting in his room. They looked up. Kili could recognize lord Elrond, but the other elf was unknown to him. Lord Elrond started talking.

"Hello Kili, how do you feel?" Kili shrugged. "Have you got any idea what may have caused your convulsions?"

Kili frowned and asked "Convulsions? Where did that come from?"

"We were wondering if you could maybe tell us." The other elf said. He had long dark hair, with two sections from the front braided to the back of his head, secured with a hair clasp. He had a long face with a pointy chin and a small nose. Kili could feel his pure blue eyes boring into him.

"I don't know. I couldn't sleep last night. I was thinking about the past, you know, it might have gotten me shaking." Kili awkwardly moved his eyes to Elrond, trying to ignore the other elf. "The memories of that time still haunt me."

"I see." Elrond turned to face the other elf. "Could you leave us alone for a moment please, Orophir?" The elf nodded and left the room. Elrond sat down on Kili's bed. "May I see your scars, I want to check on them."

Kili hesitated but then nodded. He took off his tunic and shirt and revealed his messy back.

It was filled with scars of whips, blades and ropes, covered with dried blood and purple bruises. Kili had made great effort not to show the company, which too meant he could not wash himself around them. His back had been a nuisance ever since he got the wounds.

Lord Elrond followed every single scar with his finger, making Kili grunt and groan in pain. Elrond traced them all and each time he nodded at Kili's reaction, probably being satisfied the nerves in his back still worked. When he arrived at the biggest scar, which actually was a mark, Kili gasped and flinched at his touch. Elrond quickly retreated his hand. "Something wrong, Kili?"

Kili looked at his feet, clearly not wanting to talk. Yet, he had to tell someone. "I.. each time something touches it, I.. remember. I see everything happen as if it is more than just a memory."

Lord Elrond stood up and looked Kili in the eye. "It has been 2 years, it takes time to heal, so give it time. Do not suppress it and tell your family, I think they need to know. Once you've stepped over the edge of the wild, you will not be safe anymore. There is evil out there, stronger than any of us. Only you know how to defeat it. Your companions will need you harder than they need a leader. Remember that you are not alone." Kili nodded and Elrond left his room, leaving him to think in silence.

-:-

What Kili and Lord Elrond did not know was that two dwarves, who were, apart from Kili, the youngest of the company, had been watching their whole encounter.

As soon as Kili put off his shirt, they both gasped. Fili could not comprehend why he was so surprised, why he did not know. He thought brothers shared everything, every little secret they had. Although, he and his brother had barely talked since he had his conversation with his uncle. He wondered what other secrets Kili was keeping from him.

Ori was afraid. No… he was terrified. Unlike the usual fear he carried with him every second he was away from his brothers, this was actually scary. Whatever had been able to cause those wounds, it was probably still out there. He could not imagine the amount of pain Kili must have felt.

When Lord Elrond left the room, both dwarves disappeared in the shadows. It was utterly stupid of course, thinking the elven lord would not see them. To their surprise, Elrond did not react to them at all. If he did notice them, he did not show it.

When Elrond was out of sight, Fili glanced at Ori. "Did you know about this.. all?"

"No, I am just as surprised as you are. Although, I am not surprised you don't know. I mean.. Kili probably thinks you hate him."

Fili's eyes widened and he crossed his arms. "I hate him? No, of course not! I am his brother!"

"_Then start acting like one!"_ Ori flinched at his own outburst. He had never been angry, he never spoke his mind. Fili seemed to be just as surprised, as he widened his eyes and blinked away tears. Ori stuttered. "I-I'm so sorry F-Fili, I didn't m-mean it."

Fili's wide eyes did not decrease in size and with his mouth still open, he turned around and ran away, leaving Ori in his thoughts.

-:-

Only minutes ago Thorin, Balin, Bilbo and Gandalf had been asked to join Elrond to try and read the map. The rest of the company were sitting at a fire, singing and laughing while Bofur let go of a fart.

Fili noticed Kili was looking at him. He shifted uncomfortably on the fence he was sitting on and looked at his feet. He wanted Kili to know he was there for him, yet he could not. What if Thorin would come back and see them together? He could not bear the thought of Thorin being angry with him for spending time with his brother. Thorin always got angry when Fili talked to Kili. At first, he was furious for his uncle not letting him spend time with Kili, but then, when he asked what it was about, he understood.

Would they succeed on this quest, Thorin would be king and Fili his heir, Kili would be the spare. Fili had to be raised like a proper heir of Durin, and with Kili being.. Kili, that would be an impossible task. Fili had been forced to stay as far away from Kili as possible for not only his own, but for his people's sake.

At this moment, it all did not matter anymore. He had been raised like an heir of Durin and he was ready to be a prince, but at what costs? He sacrificed the relationship with his precious brother, and for what? A lost kingdom that might be reclaimed at the end of the quest, and a treasury full of gold and precious metals. Would he be willing to pay the price?

Determined of his answer, Fili hopped off the fence and walked to Kili, sitting down next to him. Kili shifted away from him and looked the other way. Fili sighed. He was only trying to get his attention, he was hoping he would not be so shy. He tried again, but this time he got a little bit closer and he put his hand on Kili's knee.

Kili looked at the hand on his knee and then looked up to see Fili, the dwarf that had neglected him for as long as he could remember. "What?" He growled.

Fili hesitated. Should he actually do this? Was it not just better for them to stay away from each other? After looking in his brother's eyes, he knew the answer. "Listen Kili, I know I have been quite mean to you-"

"_Mean_?" Kili stood up, turned around and furiously looked Fili in the eye. "Do you think you were being _mean_? Ha-ha, don't you _dare _make me laugh! I know you saw it, back in my room. I know you and Ori were watching and even when you knew it became private, you stayed where you were and kept watching. You listen to me, Fili." Now Kili bend over, his face only inches away from Fili's, and pointed at him. "How severe you think it was, do _not_ tell the others, you will regret it."

Taking a deep breath, Kili sat back down and forced himself to calm down. He would not shed tears with Fili anywhere near him, and because he knew Fili would not be planning on leaving soon, he looked away and tried to ignore him.

It became more difficult to ignore Fili, as he put his hand back on Kili's knee and stared at the back of his head. Giving in, Kili turned around. "Alright, I am listening."

Fili sighed in relief. He finally had the chance to explain why, but where would he begin? "Uhm.. So.. I wanted to apologize for the way I treated you, my brother. It was not appropriate and I am sorry." Kili snorted. "What?"

"You actually sound like an heir of Durin, apologizing to a king about breaking a plate." Imagining how that would be if two plates would have broken, one at his hand and one at Kili's, Fili laughed.

"That would be hilarious." Kili frowned and his smile faded, he did not make a sound anymore and seemed to be deep in his thoughts. Fili noticed this. "What's wrong, Kili?

Kili looked up. "Why? Why did you do it?"

Fili now turned his whole body to Kili, putting one leg on the bench they were sitting on. "Thorin wanted me to. He said I could not be an heir of his if I would hang out with you, if I would like you. Of course, I was furious, and I hated him for even suggesting. However, later, when I found out about my duties, I figured it would be the best thing to do. I have regretted that decision ever since the day you disappeared."

At the mention of Kili's disappearance, Kili's gaze fell. He hoped he would not be reminded of that horrible time, he just wanted some distraction. As if he could read his thoughts, Fili put a hand on his shoulder and smiled at him. _This is exactly what I needed_. Kili thought.

Bofur had been watching the whole exchange of feelings between the two brothers. He was so glad Fili took this opportunity to tell Kili the truth and that Kili accepted his apologies. He just hoped Thorin would condone their new brotherhood and that he would not make it worse, like he did all those years ago.

His hope soon faded when Thorin returned. The sight of both his nephews sitting together with a smile on their faces made him feel sick. Is this what he deserved for raising his own heir? A rat who will only get in their way? At least he made Fili happy, which was good, but it would distract him from his duties. No, he was certainly not happy.

"What is going on?"

* * *

**And here it is! Still Wednesday here, although it's 10.30 pm... Yawn. **

**I literally forced myself to finish this chapter, because I think it is one of the best in this whole story.**

**Special thanks to ****_Dinogeek_**** for reviewing, I hope I made it clearer :)**

**Also many thanks to the rest who reviewed, you make a very happy girl.**

**I made the base of the story and then added some details. Okay, I expected it to be a little bit longer, but twice as long 0.o oh dear..**

**The next update will probably be a little bit shorter, more like a filler chapter.**

**Have a nice day!**

**I'm going to sleep and kill my alarm clock.**


	6. Chapter 6

"What is going on?"

Kili looked up with wide eyes. He was terrified his uncle would be furious. It would actually be the first time Thorin would hit him in front of others. While it had happened frequently when they both were be home, nobody would actually be there, everyone who knew – or thought – it happened, assumed how it was. They did not know what exactly Thorin did to make Kili knock on their doors at midnight, being distraught about something that happened. However, Thorin did not even so much as cast a quick glance at him, he looked at Fili and waited for an explanation of him.

Fili was a little less afraid, if he was afraid at all. He merely looked at Thorin in an attempt to make him leave them at peace. His uncle lost his patience and asked "Well?"

Fili decided this would be the right timing to explain. "After years of believing you in your actions, I have decided to change my directions and head to repairing the relationship with my brother."

Finally, Thorin looked at Kili. "And you agree with him?" Kili nodded, still wide-eyed.

"Very well. Although, I must say," Thorin's voice became quite threatening at this point, sending shivers down the brothers' spines. "I do not accept your behavior, Fili son of Dis."

Fili stood up. "Very well, _Thorin Oakenshield_, but I must say I do not care about your opinion anymore." Fili took Kili's hand in his and walked away, Kili submissively followed.

-:-

Fili and Kili went to Kili's room and sat down on his bed. Fili pulled up his knees and sighed. "Did you really think I hated you?"

Kili shrugged and his eyes went downcast. "I never believed it, but I could not help but think you did."

"Was that why you left?"

Kili was quiet for a moment and then replied "Not only that. Just everything that had happened. Thorin who frequently lost his temper, Balin and Dwalin who seemed lost at what to do and me, afraid that whatever would happen, I would lose you." When he said the last thing, he looked up and his eyes met Fili's. "It did not matter what you did, I cared for you."

Fili looked at the bed sheet, trying to avoid his brother's gaze when he told him. "I'm sorry."

Kili frowned. "For what?"

"For listening to your conversation with Lord Elrond, it was inappropriate. Why have you not told Ori? I thought you two were close."

"I haven't told anyone. Elrond just happened to be there when I needed help."

"Care to tell now?"

"No."

Kili's sight went from clear to blurry, for his eyes were filled with tears at the memory of the past. The very memory of losing everything he held dear, but not dying. The pain had been terrible but whatever happened, he did not die. Once the company would find out, they would treat him differently. They would protect him and give him a lot of attention and he did not want that to happen.

Fili saw his brother crying and slung an arm around him. "I am here brother, I will always be here." In truth he didn't know that. He didn't know what dangers laid ahead of them and, quite frankly, he thought Kili didn't either, but that was where he was wrong.

_Knock, knock_ "Kili? May we come in?"

Kili hesitated but then said "yes."

Lord Elrond and Gandalf both entered the room and looked at Fili and Kili, sitting on the bed. "Oh, I am sorry. We did not know you were busy." Lord Elrond said.

"No, it's okay. What is wrong Lord Elrond, Gandalf?"

"We have to talk to you, alone." Elrond looked at Fili, who got the message and left the room after hugging Kili one more time. "I want to ask you to join the White Council today." Kili's eyes widened, as did Gandalf's. "Join the White Council? Lord Elrond, may I ask why it is of importance that he will be there?"

"Because, Mithrandir, Kili has information about the darkness that is important for the future of Middle Earth."

Gandalf frowned and started to speak in Sindarin. "_I don't know, Lord Elrond. Kili is but a child."_

"Ehm, Mithrandir?"

Kili frowned. "_I can speak Sindarin, 'Mithrandir'."_

Gandalf opened his mouth and closed it again, not knowing what to say. "I have learned it a couple of years ago. Now, Lord Elrond, I do not think I have much information that is unknown to you. I would rather be with my brother today, we have a lot of catching up to do."

"I understand you want to be with your brother. If it is okay with you to take a minute and tell me whatever it is you think is important."

Kili nodded slowly. "I think that would be reasonable."

Gandalf, finally finding the ability to speak again, was still stunned by Elrond's interest in Kili. Surely he must have experienced something at his age, but it would probably not be anything the elves did not know yet.

Lord Elrond and Gandalf left the room and Fili entered again, with a question he needed to have an answer to. "Do you forgive me?"

Kili's answer could not be clearer. "No."

* * *

**I am so sorry for the delay, I wanted to update it already on Friday, but I still was not satisfied with the chapter. **

**This chapter is a filler chapter, next time the company will leave Rivendell and...well, you'll see.**

**Please review, they make my day :)**


	7. Chapter 7

The company walked away from the beautiful Valley of Imladris. They followed the path past the mountains adjacent to a deep valley. Thorin led the company across the path. "Be on your guard." He said, loud enough for everyone to hear. "We're about to step over the edge of the wild. Balin, you know these paths, lead on."

Bilbo Baggins turned around and looked at Rivendell, sighing. He would have loved to spend more time with the elves and learn about their ways of living. At the same time Fili, Gloin, Ori and Oin passed him and Thorin stopped walking. "Master Baggins, I suggest you keep up."

After a few hours of walking, the company passes through a forest with pine trees. They didn't walk in a line anymore, now they walked in one group, still with Thorin an Balin in the front. Fili and Kili walked in the back of the group. They jumped as Gandalf suddenly appeared in front of them. "Hello lads, I am sorry, did I startle you?"

Kili nodded. "Kind of, yes."

"How did you-" Fili was interrupted by a sudden sound in the depth of the forest. Kili frowned and looked in the direction of the sound. Gandalf widened his eyes, he knew exactly what made that sound and was frightened. The company started asking questions.

"What was that?" "What do we do?" "Are we going to die?" Of course, the last question came from Ori. His eyes were as wide as they could be and Ori moved closely to his big brother. Everyone panicked - even Fili, who always remained calm - except for Kili. However, this went by unnoticed and the company waited for Thorin's command.

"We move away from the sound." He growled and led all of his companions to the opposite direction, at least, he thought he did. Kili stayed behind looking towards the sound. He was considering his options; he too knew what creatures made that sound and he knew his family would not get out alive. Eventually, there was only one option.

-:-

_Exhaustion_. That word was floating around in his head for as long as he could remember. The company had been running for at least fifteen minutes without any breaks. Suddenly a new word entered. _Brother. _He looked around and stopped running. Gandalf turned around. "Is there something wrong Fili?"

Fili narrowed his eyes and searched through the company but he still could not find Kili. "Kili's gone, I think he went after the sound."

Thorin cursed under his breath. "That reckless dwarf." He spat. "Can he not do anything else than seeking danger?"

"We have to go after him!" Fili yelled desperately.

"No! We cannot risk all of our lives to save Kili from his recklessness. We move on."

Fili did not want to leave Kili behind, not after he had just apologized to him. He turned around and wanted to run back, but a hand on his chest stopped him from going. Gandalf looked down at him with an apologetic frown. "You cannot save him now, Fili, he is lost."

"But he is my brother! He is strong!"

Gandalf put a hand on Fili's shoulder. "I know, Fili, it is hard to accept the loss of your family, but there is no way Kili will survive those creatures. If you go after him, you will not survive either. Stay here and be safe."

"No, Kili will not die while I'm alive! I will go after him!"

Gandalf sighed. "Then I'm coming with you."

-:-

Fili and Gandalf did not have to walk long, for they could easily follow the shaking ground. It was hard for Fili to keep his balance and he actually fell twice on their way. When they arrived at the battle scene they found Kili, still alive. The last thing they did not expect was that he stacked all of his weapons on a pile in the bushes and he stood there unarmed, ready to fight three… "What are those, Gandalf?"

"Balrogs." He replied. "Demons from the ancient world. Those who even I cannot fight. I am sorry lad, but Kili is not going to survive."

Fili gasped and hoped for his brother to be strong.

One of the balrogs slashed its fiery whip at Kili, but he dodged, making the whip slash at the air right in front of him, inches away from the top of his nose. The second time Kili moved to the ground, just low enough for the whip to slash above him. When the balrog moved to retrieve his whip, Kili grabbed it and swung along, ending on the neck of the balrog. Although it was quite a stupid move, for Kili now had some burns on his hand, it still made Fili open his mouth in awe, he most certainly did _not_ know Kili was able to do that. After that Kili revealed a shining blood-red blade with green liquid settled on the top, possibly poison or any sort of venom, from his left boot. After sticking the blade inside the balrogs back on the place of its heart, he revealed the same blade from his right boot and stuck that inside the top of his head, making it fall to the ground. Kili quickly retrieved his blades and used the same tactic to kill the other two balrogs. When he had slid down the last balrog, he made his way to Fili and Gandalf, already knowing they were hiding in the bushes.

Fili looked at Kili with his mouth still wide open, for he had not had an opportunity to close it. Gandalf decided to break the silence. "Kili, how on Middle Earth did you do that?"

Kili's eyes moved from Gandalf, to Fili, back to Gandalf, and he took some time to consider whether or not he should tell them, eventually he just did. "I do believe you have heard of Khilar?"

Gandalf looked confused, but then he understood what Kili meant. "Are you…?" Kili simply smiled, that was enough for Gandalf.

Fili _still _had his mouth open and Kili snickered at him. "Your mouth's open Fee."

Fili came back to reality and stuttered "I was…-You did…-What?" Kili's snickering changed to bursting laughter. Finally Fili knew what he wanted to say. "I did not know you could do that."

"There is a lot you do not know." With that Kili turned around and walked in the direction of the company.

* * *

**And another fight scene! A bit more detailed I hope, but still not perfect for my opinion...**

**The whole 'Khilar' thing will be explained next chapter, if not, the one after that.**

**The next update might take a while, because I have tests to learn, projects to finish and books to read and I have not even ****_started _****on the projects. PROCASTINATION FTW!**

**Thank you for all your reviews, I am ****_so _****glad a lot of you like it!**

**Please let me know what you think!**

**PS. When is the best time to update, I have the most e-mails of updates at midnight, but when is the best for you? I literally have no idea when, so please help me out :) (Any time when I am awake is fine)**


	8. Chapter 8

When Kili returned to the company he had expected Thorin to be angry, but not to be furious. "How dare you run off like that. You left us without an archer to defend us from long distances. You left us in danger for what? Showing you can run quickly with a shaking ground!"

Kili was absolutely stunned. Not just because his uncle yelled at him, that happened more often, but because he actually admitted he needed Kili. Although this was quite encouraging not to be angry, the fact that he had been yelled at won. "What else was I supposed to do?" He spat. "Leave those creatures there and let them kill every single innocent traveler?"

"At least you should think things through! You are reckless, Kili, _reckless_!"

"At least I am not a psychopathic idiot!" He soon regretted those words, as Thorin's fist made contact with his face. Thorin had aimed for the bruise on the left side of his face, to make it hurt as much as possible. It did the job. Kili fell to the ground with a cry, clutching his left cheek as he hit the rocks they were standing on. Thorin moved to hit him again, but was stopped by Dwalin. He grabbed Thorin's arms and held them behind his back, making sure he would not do anything stupid, although that had been too late. Fili ran towards his brother, who had managed to push himself up and lean on one elbow, while the other was still clutching his cheek, and sat down next to him, hugging him closely. "It's okay brother, it's alright." He managed to say while he was close to panicking.

Dwalin pulled Thorin to the edge of the open field they were standing on and pushed him against a tree. With their faces only inches apart, Dwalin spat "Don't you ever pull off a stunt like that again! I care for Kili. The only reason why I have not beaten you to death as soon as I suspected anything, was because once you would be my king. You are no king, Thorin." Right after his outburst Dwalin released his grip on Thorin, gave him a disappointed look, and knelt next to Kili. "Come on, lad, let's get up now."

Kili refused to stand up and look each and every member of the company in the eye, after this humiliation. He had never been struck before others, never been touched by Thorin with only a small possibility that someone was watching. He just wanted to stay on the ground and wait until everyone was gone, especially Thorin, he did not want to see _him_ ever again.

Fili hauled him to his feet and guided him away from being center of attention. The company looked dumbstruck, not knowing what to do. Thinking because of this they would stay there for a while, they started to settle right there and then. Fili and Kili settled a bit further away from the group and sat down, leaning against one of the trees surrounding them. Fili sighed. He heard Kili mutter something under his breath which sounded a lot like '_damn Thorin, even here?_' and decided to ignore it. The silence was uncomfortable for both and because of that, Fili asked Kili a question. Not about anything that had just happened with Thorin, but about something he had been wondering since the balrogs had been killed. He looked into the darkness of the forest and whispered "Who is Khilar?" Kili remained silent, deep in his thoughts. "Hmm?"

"Khilar is…" Kili hesitated. A little voice inside him yelled and screamed. _No! You cannot tell him! Do not tell him! _This voice had been with him from the moment he had returned back home, but on the quest, another voice had joined in his head, a calm and peaceful voice. _Kili, you should tell him. He wants to know, he deserves to know. _Kili's head was one big mess and, for a change, he decided to listen to the calm voice. "Khilar is a name of someone who has gone through a difficult time in his life. The name has been given to him by orcs and goblins, when they found out he was still alive, although he should have been dead. The orcs brought him into an arena, they forced him to battle balrogs. They assumed it was a death sentence, but Khilar managed to stay alive and he killed every single one of those balrogs. The orcs did not know his name, so they named him Khilar."

"How do you know?"

Kili turned his head to see his brother looking at him in confusing, most likely because of the terror that had been starting to build up in his voice when he talked about Khilar. The voices were back in his head and they were driving him crazy. "Khilar is the name the orcs had given him, but his real name is now too known to them."

He had still not answered Fili's question. "So how do _you_ know?"

It was a simple answer, too simple to hear, but not simple to say. Kili looked into the depth of the forest and whispered, just loud enough for Fili to hear. "It was me."

Fili's eyes and mouth widened and he was too stunned to react. He took a moment to put everything together in his mind and came back to the world. "Y-you? But, how? When?"

"When I left, I crossed paths with an orc pack and they…" Kili frowned. "Let's just say, unpleasant things happened. I had been forced to fight balrogs and I won, then they gave me that name."

"But the _orcs_ called you Khilar, how does Gandalf know?"

"Khilar is known as a legend, a hero, a formidable fighter all over Middle Earth. I'm surprised Balin has not told you." At the words 'formidable fighter' Fili could not hide his smile. He was proud of his little brother, even if he did not know the whole tale. It took a moment for him to realize the mention of the name of his former tutor.

"Wait, Balin knows?" Kili shrugged. "Let's ask him." Fili put his hands on his knees and started to stand up, but Kili stopped him.

"No! I do not want anyone to know."

Fili sat back down. "Okay, but how does Elrond know?"

Kili lifted his chin. "I told him after he healed me, mostly, it took some time to heal completely."

"Wait, _heal_? Why did he heal you?"

Yes, why did he heal him? Sure he was badly wounded and probably nearly dead, but why did he heal him? Was it pity? Was it sorrow? He did not know. The only thing he did know was that after Elrond healed him, he was allowed to stay in Rivendell to recover, and the elves treated him like they treated each other. He had told Elrond about Thorin and Elrond offered him to stay in Rivendell, but he refused. The elven lord was terribly nice to him and despite the things his uncle had told him and Fili about elves, Kili actually liked Elrond.

"Kili?" He was too mused in his thoughts to even hear his brother trying to get his attention.

-:-

"Gandalf?" Gandalf hummed in response. "Where did that shaking come from?"

"That, my dear Bofur, is nothing you have to worry about." He responded.

Thorin, who had been sitting in silence since the fuss with Kili, spoke up. "I think we do have to worry about it, what was it?"

Gandalf glanced at Kili. He decided he would leave it to him to tell the company, although Gandalf was certain Kili would not speak a word about it if he would not be forced to. "The source was a balrog, three to be precise, demons from the ancient world. I myself have fought one and I barely escaped death."

"And how did you escape this time? Did you kill them?"

Gandalf lifted his chin and spoke with a pitiful voice. "I did not."

Before Thorin could ask another question, concerning anything that had recently occurred, Balin interrupted. "We should continue now."

"I am afraid," Gandalf started. "I cannot accompany you during this part of your quest, I have my own matters to attend to." With that, the wizard disappeared and left the company there to find their own way through the Misty Mountains.

When the company had reached the Misty Mountains it was nearly nightfall. The sunny, cloudless sky that had hovered above the world had changed to a dark-grey surface with flashing lightning all over the place. Suddenly a thunderbolt struck a few meters above the company, which caused the cliff above them to break and fall down. Dwalin pulled Ori and Bilbo back just in time before the ground underneath them shattered and fell down.

"We must find shelter!" Thorin shouted from the front of the row. "We cannot continue in this thunderstorm!"

Balin stepped forward. "This is no thunderstorm, it is a thunderbattle!" He pointed somewhere afar. "Look!"

A massive stone giant picked up a rock and threw it to another giant which came around the corner of the mountain of which the company was standing.

Nervously Kili looked around, searching for shelter, until he saw a cave. "Look, a cave!"

The older dwarves of the company frowned and looked in the direction of Kili's gaze, finding nothing but fog. Fili, Ori and Bilbo seemed to have better eyesight than the others and could see the cave too, though not as well as Kili.

"Yes," Fili said. "I see it."

Ori nodded. "Me too."

The company, sticking to the mountain wall, slowly walked their way to the cave Kili saw. Each and every one of them laid down their packs and unrolled their bed rolls. Once everyone had settled they quickly fell asleep, except for Kili, he could not sleep at all. The cave was too familiar to him.

-:-

"Wake up. Wake up!" Thorin shouted. The ground was shaking and merely seconds after Thorin woke the company, the rocks they were sleeping on fell to the side leaving behind a huge hole. The company fell down into the hole and found out it was a trap. They rolled –though it was more like falling, hitting the ground and falling again- through a cave and hit the ground in an open cage. Hundreds of goblins came running at the cage, grabbing and pulling the dwarves with them. While pulling them along, Fili noticed the goblin pulling his brother with him looked suspiciously at Kili. Fili could not take his eyes of the creature and became curious when it nodded to a goblin which was standing on a wooden platform only some feet above them. Its eyes widened and before Fili could blink his eyes, it was gone.

After having been brought through a vast network of tunnels and wooden bridges by the goblin horde, the company arrived in the throne room and platform of the Great Goblin. The Great Goblin was a massive Goblin sitting on his throne, holding a mace topped with a skull. He was far larger than any other goblin, and oh, he was _so_ ugly. The dwarves' weapons were piled together, but not within reach. The Great Goblin jumped off his throne, trampling several goblins, and approached the company. "Who would be so bold as to come armed into my kingdom? Spies? Thieves? _Assassins_?"

One of the goblins stepped forward. "Dwarves, your malevolence."

The Goblin King's eyes widened. "Dwarves?" He asked confused, with a small grin on his face. Fili could clearly see some excitement in that grin, it made him shiver.

"We found them on the front porch."

The Great Goblin seemed to hesitate for a second, but then said, "Well don't just stand there, search them! Every crack! Every crevice!"

The goblins searched the dwarves thoroughly, throwing away whatever they found. Oin's hearing trumpet was thrown on the floor and crushed underfoot.

It did not take long for the Goblin King to use his roaring voice again. "What are you doing in these parts? Speak!" While every dwarf waited for Thorin to answer, he remained quiet. "Very well, if they will not talk, we'll make them squawk! Bring out the Mangler! Bring out the Bone Breaker!" Then something had been said, something Fili had dreaded for very long. "Start with the youngest!"

The Goblin's finger was pointing at Kili.

* * *

**Finally, finally an update.**

**I'm so sorry it has almost been a week since the last one, but that project I mentioned took more time than I thought. **

**So, as I forgot to say in the last chapter, the balrogs were surrounded by less fire, but were as dangerous as they would normally be, just less fire. Also, balrogs are more common in the forest where the dwarves were and that was why there were three of them.**

**I hate Thorin and want to hit him in the face and make him die a slow and painful death and make him suffer and everything, someone wanna join?**

**I cannot thank y'all enough for all the reviews but I will do it again: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR REVIEWS AND SUPPORT :)**

**As always please review and fav and follow if you want to. **


	9. Chapter 9

Goblins started to pull Kili to the front. Fili panicked and screamed his brother's name, while reaching out for him. Their hands brushed past each other and Fili could only look at him in fear. All the attempts to save Kili from what was going to happen were in vain, for the dwarves were far outnumbered. Eventually Kili ended up in front of the throne of the Goblin King, with his hands being held behind his back. Grinnah kicked the back of his knee, making him fall to his knees. Kili looked at the king in disgust.

"Why have you entered my kingdom? Speak up!"

Kili kept his mouth shut. If he told them of their destination the quest would be doomed. His decision clearly annoyed the goblin.

"_Rip off his tunic and shirt! I want him bare-chested." _It ordered in Black Speech.

Before Kili could stop himself, he shouted "_No!" _

The goblins were stunned and stopped. The goblin king frowned. "What was that?" He looked at his goblin minions. "Did you hear that too? I think this little dwarf learned a word in Black Speech."

Kili's eyes were wide and he opened his mouth, without any words ready to escape again. He was breathing heavily and was afraid the dwarves would find out his secret, but that had been too late. The dwarves heard him and gasped. They wondered how Kili knew what that disgusting goblin said. In the corner of his eyes, Fili saw the goblin he had seen running away while he was being pulled into Goblin-Town. It hurried his way to the king, screaming in Black Speech. "_It's him! It's him! My lord it's him!"_

The Goblin King seemed satisfied with this information and ordered the goblins to continue removing Kili's clothes, leaving his upper body bare. Once they had finished, the goblins blocking the sight of Kili's back stepped aside. The whole company gasped when they saw Kili's back covered in scars from the many lacerations he had got in the past. The few parts of his skin where there were no scars, there were signs of burns and bruises. The dwarves never noticed, only Ori and Fili had seen glimpses of them in Rivendell, when they listened to Kili's conversation with Lord Elrond.

"Let me see his back." The king stood up from his throne and moved to look at Kili's back. Kili flinched as he traced the lines of one of the scars. "Ah, I see my mark is still there, good, good. Wouldn't want you to forget would we?"

The silence was unbearable as Kili stood there, stunned, hoping they could soon leave that disgusting place. His breathing had become erratic due to his fear, and he could only look at the ground in shame. He could do nothing but squirm a bit in the goblins' grip, trying to get away from this nightmare, but he could only stand there, petrified. Balin decided to break the silence and perhaps answer questions. He pushed his way to the front of the group and looked at Kili's back. He stayed there for some time, taking in the ravage of it, and then asked "Kili, lad, how did you get these?"

Kili closed his eyes. He wanted this nightmare to go away. He wished it had never happened. Why could he not just forget? He had dealt with the nightmares for more than five years and they still had not gone. Why could they not just leave him alone?

The Goblin King took Kili's silence as an opportunity to tease the little dwarf. "You never told them little one? You never told them how you got to know the darkness of Middle Earth?"

"_Shut up." _Kili whispered in Black Speech, still looking at the ground.

The Goblin King blinked a couple of times, raised an eyebrow and asked with a threatening voice "_What was that?_"

Kili opened his eyes and looked directly at the king. "_I said shut up!" _Kili stood up, ignoring the goblins that were holding him tightly, as if they were suddenly weaker by his outburst._ "If anyone would tell them, it'd be me!" _

Balin seemed to be the only one to start with the puzzle that had revealed itself. How was it possible that Kili and the Goblin King already knew each other? Where? When? He would most certainly get back to this when they got out of this disgusting mountain. For now Balin just paid attention to what was happening in the front. Fili was being dragged in front of the throne and the Goblin king repeated its question.

"Why have you entered my kingdom?" Fili was determined not to reply, thinking it would be wise to follow his brother's decisions for once. The Goblin King turned to one of its goblin minions. "Fetch the whip."

Kili tensed and watched the goblin disappear into the darkness of the cave, only to come back with a whip in its hands. Kili's eyes widened as he gasped. It was the same whip the goblins had used on him all those years ago, nearly killing him with not only the strikes, but later also the infection caused by this foul place. The Goblin King noticed Kili was scared. "Do you recognize it Kili? Don't worry, you two will be reunited in a moment. But first, it is your brother's turn."

Taking his eyes off the whip, Kili looked directly into the Goblin King's eyes. "_I'll take it. Please, don't hurt him." _

The Goblin King raised its eyebrows. "Are you volunteering?" After glancing a look at Fili, Kili nodded.

"I know your weak spots, Kili, and I know how to cause you pain." While this should have been threatening, Kili held his head high, determined to keep Fili from getting hurt. The Goblin king shook its head. "No, I cannot do that." He looked at Grinnah, who was holding the whip. "Begin."

Just as Grinnah moved to bring the whip down on Fili's back, Thorin stepped forward. "Wait."

The Goblin King's attention turned to him and it smiled. "Well, well, well, look who it is. Thorin son of Thrain, son of Thror, King under the mountain." It bowed deeply and came back up with a sinister smile on its face. "Oh, but I'm forgetting you don't have a mountain. And you're not a king. Which makes you nobody, really. I know someone who would pay a pretty price for your head. Just the head, nothing attached. Perhaps you know of whom I speak, an old enemy of yours. A paled orc astride a white warg."

Thorin looked up in surprise and disbelief. "Azog the defiler was destroyed. He was slain in battle long ago!" His voice turned desperate and the Goblin King replied.

"And you think his defiling days are done? You should ask your nephew." It looked at Kili. "I'm sure he hasn't forgotten him."

Fili opened his mouth and whispered "Kili?"

"You haven't told them anything? I am surprised."

Kili looked up. The company could see the horror on his face. He did not expect this to happen.

* * *

**Oooooooooooh Kili knows Azog? 0.o**

**This was a shorter chapter, compared to the previous one, but I hope you liked it**

**So I now have a whole army behind me to march upon Thorin and kill him, shall we pick a date? **

**Thank you so much for reviewing, it really means a lot to me. I'll try to answer your reviews and messages from now on, haven't done that (sorry), so if you have any questions, any unclear things that you want to know, you can ask me and I will try to answer without spoilers :)**

**As always please review and fav or follow if you don't already**


	10. Chapter 10

Thorin looked up in surprise and disbelief. "Azog the defiler was destroyed. He was slain in battle long ago!" His voice turned desperate and the Goblin King replied.

"And you think his defiling days are done? You should ask your nephew." It looked at Kili. "I'm sure he hasn't forgotten him."

Fili opened his mouth and whispered "Kili?"

"You haven't told them anything? I am surprised."

Kili looked up. The company could see the horror on his face. He did not expect this to happen.

"What is he talking about, Kili?" Thorin asked, in attempt to control his rage and to keep himself from launching at his youngest nephew. "Do you know Azog?"

Slowly Kili nodded. He was struggling to keep his breath at a steady pace and locked gaze with his brother, silently pleading for help and support. Fili responded his pleas with an expression of shock, fear and… was that fury? Was his brother actually angry because he had kept secrets like these? Fili should understand he could not tell others, he could barely cope with his past himself! The dark-haired dwarf looked away from his brother and glanced at the goblin king. He was sitting proudly on his throne, with his mace in his massive hand, grinning at the scene he had caused. He spotted Kili looking at him and smiled maliciously. The smile made Kili relive his past and he quickly looked away at his uncle. He saw him breathing heavily and he knew exactly what he would have done, were it not for the goblins holding the dwarves in place.

-:-

Gandalf had left the company with a reason. Once he was certain they had left the forest he had to get back to Rivendell, he thought, perhaps, Elrond knew about Kili. So he waited for the group to enter the Misty Mountains and then he left them. The Grey Wizard had more than enough questions to ask Lord Elrond and he would not rest until he had his answers.

The Elven Lord was surprised to see Mithrandir appear at the borders of Rivendell, for he thought the wizard had departed with the dwarves. _It must be urgent_. He thought. "Mithrandir? What brings you back in Rivendell?"

Gandalf halted and took a moment to regain his breath. "I have questions about a certain dwarf of the company." Elrond raised an eyebrow. "About Kili, son of Dis."

Lord Elrond turned around with his hands behind his back and faced one of the wall paintings in the hall they were standing in. "And you believe I have the information you are looking for?" He looked over his shoulder. "Why?"

"It seems to me you know Kili better and I suppose you would know what is plaguing his mind."

Lord Elrond took a deep breath. "Kili told me because he trusted me, I cannot break my promise to keep the information to myself. Yet, if you would have a good reason for asking me, I might reconsider."

"Kili troubles me." Gandalf said. "Something is bothering him and he is too stubborn to tell at least his brother. I do not know of his past but I think it might play a role in whatever is wrong."

Lord Elrond turned around and took a few steps towards Gandalf. "I am sure it has to do with his past, and the reason why he refuses to tell even his brother is also known to me. Kili's past is… troubling, to say the least, and his brother has not supported him in the times he should have. I was there for him and that is why I am the only one who actually knows. You cannot ask me to get into details, for I find them too disturbing, but I can tell you Kili has seen the darkness of Middle Earth as no one has. He needs the support and he needs to let go of his stubbornness. It is the only way for him to tell."

Gandalf nodded his gratitude. Not soon after this conversation Gandalf had a greyish feeling, one he would normally get when something is amiss. _The dwarves are in trouble. _He thought. The wizard gathered his powers and disappeared into the nothingness.

-:-

While it ignored the chaos, Grinnah reached down to grab one of the dwarves' blades. It recognized the hilt and pulled it out of the scabbard. It gasped in horror and threw down the sword. It landed in view of all the goblins. They recognized it too and howled in fear and rage as they retreated from it. The Goblin King ran to its throne, pointed at the sword and said "I know that sword! It is the Goblin Cleaver, the Biter, the blade that sliced a thousand necks!"

As he spoke, the goblins began whipping all the dwarves with ropes.

"Slash them! Beat them! Kill them! Kill them all! Cut off his head!"

Some of the goblins held Thorin down and one of them pulled out a knife and prepared to behead Thorin. Suddenly, a massive explosion of bright light appeared. All the sounds muted as a shockwave ripped through the area, flinging goblins in the air and destroying the torturing machines. Everyone was knocked out, including the Great Goblin. When the force of the explosion had passed, most of the lights in the area had been snuffed out. In the background, a shadow with a tall pointy hat walked up. It was Gandalf, holding his staff and sword, Glamdring. Light slowly returned to the area as the goblins and the dwarves slowly looked up, recovering from the shock. They stared at Gandalf.

"Take up arms." He said to the dwarves. "Fight. Fight!"

The dwarves quickly got up and began fighting the goblins. Kili ripped his arms from the goblins holding him and made for the pile of weapons. As goblins ran at Gandalf, he killed them with his sword and staff. The Great Goblin, still lying on the ground, saw Gandalf's sword and pointed at it. "He wields the Foe Hammer, the Beater, bright as daylight!"

Some of the dwarves reached their pile of weapons and began tossing them to each other. Oin managed to reclaim his hearing trumpet, although it had been quite flattened. Nori, while fighting, fell on the floor. The Great Goblin ran at him and swang its mace. Before the mace could hit Nori, Thorin jumped forward and deflected the blow, causing the goblin to stumble backward and fall off the edge of the platform, falling into the abyss.

Gandalf made his way a path leading further into Goblin Town. "Follow me. Quick! Run!"

Gandalf and the dwarves were running through the suspended passageways of Goblin Town, with hundreds of goblins running after them.

Dwalin saw several goblins running at him front the front. "Post!"

He and some of the dwarves cut a guardrail post from the side of the path and held it out in front of them like a massive spear. They charged at the oncoming goblins and swept them away with the long rail. Dropping the rail, Dwalin pulled out his axes and began knocking aside goblins. The rest of the company did the same. Gloin hit one goblin who fell and landed on another suspended path, breaking it and dropping all the goblins on it into the darkness below. The rest of the company also fought the goblins around them with their various weapons and fighting styles. Several goblins snarled as they swang on ropes toward the dwarves.

"Cut the ropes!" Thorin yelled.

He and some of the dwarves cut the ropes holding a raised platform in place. The cutting caused the platform to fall outward, entangling the goblins swinging on the ropes.

As Kili fought, several goblins started shooting arrows at him. He deflected some of them with his sword, then he came up with a ridiculous idea. He grabbed a nearby ladder and dropped it on the oncoming goblins. Kili and some of the other dwarves ran forward, pushing the ladder and the goblins it had trapped in front of them. As they approached a missing area of the path, the goblins fell down into the darkness. The ladder, however, acted as a bridge for the dwarves to cross to the rest of the path. As soon as they crossed it, Dwalin broke the ladder, preventing the goblins chasing them from crossing it.

The dwarves and Gandalf continued running through the maze-like paths, getting on a section of the path supported by ropes from above. They sliced some ropes and the pathway swang away from the rest of the path, approaching a different path. Several of the dwarves managed to jump to the other path. However, before the rest could, the suspended path swang back like a pendulum to where it started, and several goblins leaped on. As the path swang back again, the rest of the dwarves and Gandalf managed to jump to the new path as well. They cut the ropes, causing the swinging path and the goblins on it to fall. The dwarves and Gandalf continued running through the tunnels, killing all the goblins in their way. Gandalf struck a rock above them with his staff, causing the rock to fall down and begin rolling in front of the company, squashing all the goblins in their way.

Soon, they approached a bridge between two walls of the cavern. As they tried to cross it, the Great Goblin suddenly broke through from underneath the bridge and pulled itself up onto the bridge, in front of the company. As the company paused, hundreds of goblins approached them from all sides.

"You thought you could escape me?" The Great Goblin swang its mace twice at Gandalf, causing him to stumble back and almost fall. "What are you going to do now wizard?"

Gandalf leaped forward and struck the Great Goblin in the eye with its staff. The Great Goblin dropped its mace and clutched its face in pain. Then Gandalf stepped forward and sliced the Great Goblin in the belly. It fell to its knees, clutching its belly. "That'll do it." Gandalf again swang his sword and slices the Great Goblin's neck, killing it with the blow.

The goblin's weight caused the bridge to start shaking. Suddenly, the section of the bridge on which the company was standing broke away from the rest of the bridge and started sliding down the side of the cavern. The bridge slid at a terrific speed down the cavern's wall, demolishing everything in its way. The dwarves clung on, screaming in terror. The bridge slowed down and landed at the base of the cavern, breaking apart and burying the dwarves in the timber and wood. Gandalf got up from the pile of wreckage and inspected the rest of the dwarves, who were still stuck in the wreckage.

Out of the pile Bofur made an attempt to lighten the mood. "Well, that could have been worse."

As if called, the heavy corpse of the Great Goblin landed on the wreckage, squishing the dwarves even further. They cried out in pain.

Dwalin growled. "You've got to be joking."

As the dwarves extricated themselves from the rubble, Kili looked up and saw thousands of goblins running at them. "Gandalf!"

While helping Nori to stand, Dwalin turned to Gandalf. "There's too many. We can't fight them."

Gandalf nodded in agreement. "Only one thing will save us, daylight! Come on. Here, on your feet."

The dwarves got up quickly, helping each other out of the rubble, and they ran away, following Gandalf. Deep inside, Kili was relieved the goblin king had been killed.

* * *

***Hides behind Kili* Hii...**

**So.. After a week I FINALLY have a new chapter, damn writers block.**

**Sorry for the long wait, but my head is overflowing with ideas for new stories and they were basically blocking my ideas for this one.**

**I always say it but: THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS AND SUPPORT! And special thanks to Guest for the suggestion of using a thesaurus.**

**Please review and fav and follow if you haven't already. I'll try to update sooner!**


	11. Chapter 11

The company ran as fast as they could through the goblin tunnels, some tripping over lose stones, and left the Misty Mountains. They passed through the tunnels and escaped through a small entrance. While running downhill, Fili and Kili fell behind and increased their pace to catch up with the others. When they reached the company, now standing still, Fili worriedly stared at his brother. He was afraid of the events that had taken place in the mountains and wanted to know what his brother was hiding. Kili felt he was being watched and turned to Fili, awkwardly looking at him from top to bottom. "Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked.

Fili took a deep breath and his worried gaze disappeared from his face, only to be replaced by an angry one. "Kili, I demand to know _exactly_ what is going on. What happened back there? What are you _hiding_?"

"That is none of your concern. I have dealt with it for years and you do not have to worry about me at all. Just turn around and go be happy next to Thorin, like you always do." Kili whipped his head around and walked back in the direction of the mountain, only to see Azog and some orcs riding wargs on a hill. He could vaguely hear Azog orders. "_Run them down! Tear them to pieces!"_ Kili almost did not notice Bilbo was back again as he tried to get the company's attention. It did not work, but the warg howls did the job for him. The company looked at each other in fear.

"Out of the frying pan…" Thorin whispered.

"And into the fire." Gandalf finished his sentence. "Run, run!"

They all started running down the mountain as fast as they could. The wargs followed them rapidly. Soon the foremost warg caught up with the company and leaped at Bilbo. Bilbo ducked behind a rock and the warg's jaws snapped in the air over his head. The warg landed in front of him. Growling, it charged at him. Bilbo pulled out his sword and held it in front of him. The charging warg impaled itself in the head on the sword and fell down dead. Bilbo looked on in surprise. A few more wargs caught up to the fleeing dwarves, but they were quickly dispatched. The company reached a large outcropping of land with a few trees growing on it. They were trapped there, as there was no way off the outcropping besides a great fall down the mountain.

Gandalf looked at the company. "Up into the trees, all of you! Come on, climb! Bilbo, climb!"

Bifur threw an axe, killing a warg which was approaching him. Bofur jumped off a rock and grabbed a tree branch, using Dwalin's head as a stepping stone to the tree. Kili easily climbed up the foremost tree, all the way to the top. He made sure he was facing away from the orcs and he hid behind the trunk. Bilbo tried to pull his sword out of the dead warg's head, but it was stuck firmly. He continued to pull.

"They're coming!" Thorin screamed.

Gandalf climbed to the top of the furthest tree. Dwalin boosted Balin up. Thorin, Bombur and the rest climbed up trees too. The wargs and warg riders approached.

Bilbo finally managed to pull his sword out of the warg. He looked up to see several more wargs running at him. He quickly clambered up a tree as the wargs rushed below him. Dozens of wargs circled the trees in which the company members were perched. The wargs ceased their growling and turned as the White Warg, with Azog on its back, approached slowly. Thorin –and basically the whole company- looked at Azog in shock.

"Azog?!"

As his White Warg growled, Azog stroked it and talked ominously. "_Do you smell it? The scent of fear? I remember your father reeked of it, Thorin son of Thrain." _

Thorin looked stricken with pain and grief, realizing Azog had captured his father. "It cannot be."

Azog's gaze changed direction. He turned to Kili, who was biting his lower lip and firmly keeping his eyes closed, hoping Azog would not see him. Azog looked at him and smiled. "_I remember you, Kili son of Dis." _Kili knew he had been spotted. He sighed and looked back at Azog, while he continued to speak. "_How are you still alive? I thought my son had already killed you." _

After Azog finished talking, he slid off his warg. The whole company started at Kili for a translation, only to see Kili frozen in fear and anger. Fili gently tugged at his brother's sleeve and Kili responded. "_Perhaps I am stronger than Bolg thinks I am."_

Azog took a step forward and spat "_Do not speak of my son like he is an idiot. You are only lucky he has not had any training except on you." _Kili spat on the ground just before the white orc's feet and smiled mischievously.

Fili leaned forward and whispered in Kili's ear. "What are you doing Kee?" He got no response.

Azog had had enough. "_Bolg!" _Kili gasped as a large orc, more greyish than pale, came into view. Azog switched to Common Tongue. "I believe you two know each other already, no introductions needed."

Bolg and Kili glared at each other, both breathing deeply, Bolg in fury and Kili in anxiety.

Bolg grabbed his bow from his back and readied an arrow. Kili saw this and prepared to dodge the arrow. Bolg let go of the arrow and it flew directly at Kili, or where Kili was just standing. Kili had grabbed the branch above him and swang to a different tree. Bolg growled in frustration. Kili snorted and swang back to the tree Fili was standing in. And Thorin? He merely rolled his eyes, he had totally forgotten about that elvish nephew he had.

Azog pointed at Thorin and snarled "That one is mine. Kill the others!"

At his command, the wargs leaped forward and tried to climb the trees. They jumped as high as they could, scrabbling at the tree trunks and breaking apart branches in their jaws. The trees shook violently at the assault and the dwarves struggled to hold on.

Bolg and Kili still glared at each other and Bolg nodded his head to the right and moved to the edge of the battle. Kili frowned and followed him, still cautiously using his agile body to swing in the trees.

With the weight of the wargs climbing it, the furthest tree from the edge of the cliff got uprooted from the ground and began leaning wildly. As more wargs grabbed onto it, the tree tipped over and landed on the next tree. However, this tree tipped over as well. Like dominoes, all the trees began falling over. The company managed to jump onto the last tree, on the very edge of the cliff. When this tree did not fall over, Fili desperately searched for his brother.

Although, Kili did not seem to have much interest in the company now. He was facing down his own enemy.

Meters away from the Azog and the company, Bolg and Kili stood opposite of each other. They both had their weapons drawn and looked each other in the eye.

Bolg was the first to attack. He launched himself at Kili, sword raised high above his head, and for his opponent's neck. Kili was to dodge the blow. He bent his body backwards, almost in an angle of ninety degrees, and Bolg's sword swang less than an inch away from his nose tip. The dwarf recovered from his awkward position and kicked Bolg in the groin. The blow had caused Azog's son to fall to his knees and Kili took this opportunity to kick him again, this time in the stomach. Bolg growled and stood up again. He swang his sword at Kili and struck him in his side. Kili gasped in pain and before clutching the wound and actually falling to his knees he stabbed Bolg in the chest. The action caused the orc pain, but not death. Kili scrambled to his feet and was about to deal the final blow to Bolg when he saw Azog's warg striking a dwarf. The rest of the company clearly was not able to save Thorin before it would be too late, because the wargs were keeping them from reaching their leader. There was no warg to be seen between Kili and Thorin. His instincts caused him to leave his greatest enemy and save his uncle, regardless of their past and probably future.

His recklessness caused him to run straight to the orc that was about to behead Thorin, it was probably the best thing to do as the orc was bringing down its blade to aim, getting ready to kill the enemy of its leader. When the blade was about to touch Thorin's neck, the orc fell to the ground.

Stunned, some of the dwarves blinked a couple of times. Kili ran into view, lowering his bow. His shot had distracted the wargs and the dwarves got out of the trees to fight. As they battled the creatures, Kili stood in front of the now unconscious Thorin and protected his body. He put his bow on his back and pulled his sword out of its scabbard. Azog smiled in hatred. "_Kill him_"

Out of nowhere a balrog appeared and approached the dark-haired dwarf. Kili assumed this was one of the leaders as his appearance seemed quite more threatening. The demon's steps caused the ground to shake worse than before the company had entered the Misty Mountains and some of the orcs were having a hard time keeping their balance.

Suddenly, Fili and Dwalin, who has managed to get off the tree and fought close to Kili, attacked the wargs which were slowly leaping towards the youngest. While Fili and Dwalin were joined by some of the other dwarves in the fight against the wargs, Bolg had managed to stand up and stood next to Azog with a pained expression of his face. He was clutching his chest and seemed to focus very hard to keep his breathing steady.

Kili, who had been through worse than just an injury in the side, stood ready to kill whoever was a threat to him. He had to be honest, he was afraid. Not because Azog and Bolg looked like they were planning on killing him, giving him a slow and _very_ painful death, nor because of the wargs who the dwarves had missed were closing in on Kili, nor because the balrog was coming very close, but because he had managed to keep his secret, but now he was not so sure how long he could keep it up.

Suddenly, an eagle swooped out of nowhere and snatched Kili from the ground. The eagle let go of Kili and he fell toward the ground, only to land on the back of another eagle. Several more eagles appeared and joined the fray.

Some grabbed wargs and orcs and tossed them over the cliff. Others knocked down trees, which crushed the wargs below them. Another eagle fanned the flames with its wings, causing an inferno which burned the wargs. Azog snarled in frustration. One eagle gently grabbed Thorin and his sword in its talons and flew away.

* * *

**One more chapter after this one and then I think I am going to take a break from writing, because of summer holiday. I will update but it will take a while for me to write, for I am a slow writer.**

**I have a question: Would you rather have this to be a VERY Kili-centered story with basically two storylines or multiple other stories also Kili-centered but with a different storyline. **TheHobbitAlways **came with the idea of fitting one of my ideas in this story, functioning as plot twists, and I have considered doing that but I thought that would be too much, for it would create a new storyline and that might be difficult to actually read and keep up with both.**

**Another question: When shall I end this story? I will not go on after the end of the book, but I think I might continue through the whole book or shall I end with the second movie or when shall I stop? I have no idea of how I want to end this story and if I know when I might be able to decide.**

**Anyways please fave and follow if you haven't already and answer my questions in a review.**


	12. Chapter 12

The eagle on which Kili was sitting flew past the cliff wall and Kili looked up to see his brother fall in his direction, letting out a scream that would break your heart if you would not know another eagle was there to catch him. Kili shoved backwards and Fili landed safely on the back of the eagle with a soft thud. He grunted, climbed to all fours and coughed. Kili assumed the fall had knocked the air out of his lungs, for he landed on his back. The younger brother crept to the oldest and put his hands on his back to offer him comfort. When Fili's coughing fit was over, he rolled to sit down. He looked up to see Kili's face full with concern and gave him a pointy look.

"Are you going to finally tell me what happened?" He demanded. Kili paid him no mind as he nervously looked around at all the eagles. "What? Afraid of heights?"

Again, it was like Kili had blocked him out of his world. They spent a few moments like this, in utter silence while Kili was still rotating his head to see all of the eagles. There was one eagle he could not see as easily as the others and he made a lot of effort to actually see it. He shifted to the left, then to the right, but the giant eagle carrying Ori and Dori did not move from his sight. "Where is Thorin?"

"I don't know." Came the answer. Seeing the concern on his brother's face was not meant for him, but for their uncle, made Fili smile. "That was brave you know. After everything that has happened between you two, you still decided to save him."

"He is my uncle after all." _If only you knew. _Kili thought.

-:-

There never really was a time when Thorin had accepted the child. When his sister had just given birth to him, she was very weak and Thorin could not bear to see her this way. Dis eventually left the world of the Living and joined her husband and ancestors in the Halls of Mahal. The exiled dwarven-king's pain and grief caused him to blame the little boy. He was the one responsible for the death of his mother, no-one else. Unfortunately, Thorin was the only one to see it that way. Many visitors had come and they all adored the baby from the moment they laid eyes on him. His smile was cute to others, to Thorin it reminded him of his brother.

However, there was one day when Kili was finally appreciated for a moment.

_It was the screaming that startled them. Fili and Kili had been walking in the market for forty minutes, stopping by every single stall, when the scream of a little girl entered their ears. They immediately sprang into action. _

_The source of the girl's scream came from the direction of The Big River, a fast-flowing river that passes through the east of Ered Luin and ends with a waterfall. The Durin brothers quickly sprinted towards the river and were shocked by the scene._

_The river was indeed a fast-flowing river, but the current right now was extremely high. They heard the scream again and simultaneously whipped their heads towards the sound. The girl had then stopped screaming and it was awfully quiet. Then suddenly, another person screamed. A woman, this time, cried for her daughter. "Amelia! Amelia, no!" Kili searched the river and could just about see a mop of blond hair breaking the surface. He did not hesitate. The archer threw off his jacket and boots, ran and jumped__off-shore. His body made a perfect arch as he dove into the water. He reached the bottom of the river and with a strong kick he returned to the surface. _

_He swam towards the girl who seemed to have given up her struggles against the firm grip of The Big River. He stretched his arm as far as he could but could not reach her, causing him to go completely underwater. Kili managed to grasp the girl from the bottom and popped his head out of the water to gasp for air, his body desperately needing oxygen. He made sure the girl's head is above the surface as he began to swim back to shore. The current, however, led them to a huge waterfall. Kili was strong, yes, but the force of the current pushing him towards the waterfall, and the force of the waterfall pulling him towards itself together were too strong for Kili to resist. Just as they had reached the waterfall, Kili managed to toss the girl onshore, just at the edge, and he fell down the waterfall. _

_Onshore, a lot of dwarves had heard the screams and came to watch the commotion. As Kili had tossed the girl onshore, they all ran towards her, the mother the quickest. All the time she had been screaming hysterically and Fili soothing her and reassuring her Kili was a very good swimmer did nothing to help. She freaked out when she saw her daughter out of the river, just as Fili freaked out when he saw his brother falling down the waterfall. The girl coughed and stood up, she looked totally fine for a little girl who had just been saved from a river. _

_Water everywhere, in his mouth, his nose, his eyes, his whole body felt like it was water. Before falling to unconsciousness due to the lack of oxygen, Kili managed to grasps a protruding rock right next to the waterfall, and pulled himself out of the water. He clumsily climbed up and suddenly found energy from the sunlight. He stood up and walked towards the group of dwarves surrounding the little girl, but he did not care about them, not as much as he cared about his brother running towards him, arms ready for an embrace. _

_Kili released him and kneeled in front of the girl. "Are you okay, little one?"_

_The girl nodded and the mother thanked him sincerely. Kili quickly looked at his uncle, who was standing behind the woman, and Thorin gave him a nod of approval. _You did well._ It was the first of his whole life._

-:-

The eagles soared through the sky over a great distance and over many beautiful landscapes. The eagle carrying Ori and Dori had moved away and Fili spotted Thorin still lying unconscious in the eagle's talons. "Thorin!" He yelled. No answer. The massive birds approached a massive rock structure shaped like a bear. The Carrock, Gandalf called it. The eagle carrying Thorin gently deposited him and his sword on a flat area on top of the Carrock. The rest of the eagles also landed on the Carrock and Gandalf ran toward the unconscious Thorin.

"Thorin! Thorin."

This did not respond. Fili and Kili ran up. Gandalf placed his hand on Thorin's face and whispered a spell. Thorin's eyes fluttered open and he gasped for air. Kili sighed in relief.

"Who saved me?" Thorin asked weakly. "I-I saw the orc fall. Who saved me?"

"It was your own nephew." Gandalf smiled proudly. "He is here. He is quite safe."

The other dwarves surrounded the wounded Thorin. Dwalin and Fili helped him up. However, once he was up, he shrugged them off and turned to Fili. "Thank you." He whispered.

Fili frowned and exchanged confused glances with his brother. "Uncle… It was not me." Thorin narrowed his eyes and saw how Kili looked to Fili nervously, then the whole world suddenly became confusing. Kili would never… He just would not save him. He shot Fili questioning looks and Fili slightly nodded.

Thorin looked at his youngest nephew and tried his best to keep his voice steady. "Did you… save me?" Kili nodded. "Why? Why would you?"

Kili hesitated and then answered. "We're family, are we not? Real family with real bonds do those things. It does not matter what you say or do, I would still choose you over being safe." To emphasis his statement he added "_That_ is what family is for."

Thorin, suddenly feeling quite guilty, advanced until he was face to face with Kili. He had kept his expression blank and stared deep into his nephew's soul, it was frightening. Fili was about to interfere when Thorin grabbed Kili and embraced him deeply. He whispered a quiet _I am sorry _and could only hope his nephew would ever, in his long life, forgive him.

Kili, looking surprised and confused with what to do, hugged Thorin back. It was an awkward embrace and he let go quickly, to let everything sink in. He had just encountered three of his worst childhood fears which he hoped he would never have encountered again, he had seen his uncle nearly dead and that awful feeling in his stomach made him safe him, and now that same uncle was hugging him, expecting Kili to appreciate the comfort he was willing to give. Even if it would have had to mean the world to him, Thorin's apology did not make Kili think any different of him.

As Kili let go, he quit blocking the view from the Carrock. Apparently there was something important, or something beautiful, somewhere in the distance. The eagles flew away and the company watched them leave. Thorin strode forward, speechless, and the others followed his gaze. "Is that what I think it is?" Bilbo asked. In the distance, on the horizon, they saw the outline of a single, solitary mountain.

"Erebor." Gandalf said. "The Lonely Mountain. The last of the great dwarf kingdoms of Middle Earth."

Thorin smiled and patted Kili on the back. "Our home."

* * *

**Phew, the end of An Unexpected Journey is here!**

**As I said in the author's note in last chapter, I will be leaving this story (no, not actually leaving but it will take more time to update) but you can still expect a chapter before my holiday starts. **

**The part with the flashback was in Thorin's mind in his unconsciousness/death and it partly made him remember Kili is nothing like Floran, except for his appearance.**

**For the people who are desperate to know about Kili, you will have to wait a bit longer, I'm feeling like a bully at the moment, sorry, I'm not sorry.**

**Thank you so much for your reviews, they're still amazing and they keep me writing**

**I have actually seen myself how much I have improved (swelled head.. nah) in writing and I will try to improve more, so if you notice ANY mistakes, big or small, please mention them.**


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